Couples Ministries

Saturday,September 04,2010

What’s Love Got to do with IT?

Love is an important key in making marriage and other relationships work. The truth is this - we don't have the ability to really love without the power of the Holy Spirit working through us.

In Galatians 5:22-23, the Apostle Paul tells us the fruit of the Spirit is, "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..." According to this scripture, we don't have the capacity to love without God giving us that ability as we surrender to Him.

Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire or a passionate feeling. These kinds of feelings come and go.

So how are people able to "love" when they don't know God? They can't. At least they are not able to love with God's type of love. God's love is a special love the Bible calls "agape". It is a love that flows out of the will and does not change. It is the most stable and predictable kind of love and the only type that can provide a lasting foundation in marriage.

Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire (the Greek word "eros" where we get the word erotic) or a passionate feeling ("thumos" where we get our thermos). These kinds of feelings come and go. When they go for very long, many people give the old line "I don't love you anymore" and are out the door.

Agape love, however, is a committed and sacrificial love that is modeled after Jesus. When Jesus tells us He loves us, He isn't talking about a feeling that comes and goes. He is telling us He is committed to us forever and will not change. Whether His feelings for us are positive or negative, it doesn't change His commitment to us.

We really need to consider what we mean when we tell our spouse, "I love you". Are we saying that we are experiencing a fleeting feeling or are we saying we are committed to him or her forever and will demonstrate love regardless of bad feelings or negative circumstances? It isn't wrong to express a feeling, as long as when that feeling isn't there anymore, you can still say "I love you," and do the right thing regardless of the situation.

People controlled by their emotions are unreliable, and their moodiness can do a lot of damage to relationships.

People controlled by their emotions are unreliable, and their moodiness can do a lot of damage to relationships. The most stable and dependable people in relationships are those who are submitted to the influence of the Holy Spirit. They are powered by a supernatural love that will do the right thing through thick and thin. Ecclesiastes 4:12 declares; “a threefold cord is not easily broken.” Every couple needs that third element, the power of the Holy Spirit to fully blossom in love.

Ask God to fill you with the power of His Holy Spirit. He never intends for us to go around trying to love people out of the shallow well of our own emotions. The ocean of His love is always available to any of us who would just admit our weaknesses and depend upon Him. His agape love is the highest love and will transform any person, relationship or marriage under its influence.